I’ve come across a common theme…
It seems like most people I talk with say
there’s so much going on that they feel overwhelmed.
(Been there, done that!)
That’s transformation. We grow through life as we go through life.
Let’s talk. There is so much support to help you reach your goals!
Headstones have a dash — a tiny, little dash! — between the year you were born and the year you leave the planet. All the life experience that means so much to each of us, is reduced to a tiny dash.
So don’t sweat the small stuff….
What do you want your ‘dash’ to mean?
What gifts do you want to leave behind for future generations to enjoy?
How do you want to enjoy your ‘dash’?
Credit: @PattiStueland
“You can stand up for something or someone, and you can demand things be made right for someone or something, but you can never complain.
The soul dies when you complain.” —Katharine Hepburn in an Interview with James Grissom Focus on what you…
you CAN DO. Complaining says “I’m powerless. I’m a victim.”
Taking positive action to bring forth more love and compassion in the world is a wonderful power play!
Give your soul more life!
Go on a ‘complaining fast’… try it for a day! Every time you notice you want to complain, think “What positive thing can I think or do to bring more goodness to the situation.”x
“Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius power and magic in it. Begin it now.” —Goethe
There is so much support for you to help you reach your goals!
Use your gifts and talents to give the world your best. When you do, you will see that who you become in the process is even greater than the goal you’ve achieved.
What dreams do you have that you’ e given up on? Keep the fire 🔥 of your dreams alive.
What’s your relationship account balance?
Have you checked in on your ‘people’ lately?
Expressing appreciation is a powerful credit to your ‘relationship account balance.’
From Gay Hendricks, author of The Genius Zone— I’ve been listening to that on Audible. I think I’m on my 3rd listen! Excellent book!
The U.S. Marines once had an ad “The toughest job you’ll ever love!” That ad was many decades ago but it stuck in my mind. When I became a parent, I changed “U.S. Marines” to “Parenting.” Parenting really is a tough job but it’s one I have loved. And the toughest part of parenting is…
being firm and making “unpopular” decisions.
If you’re a parent, be strong. And pat yourself on the back when you hold to what’s best for the children. Good bedtimes. Good hygiene. Good nutrition. Good manners. You are raising the future world. Call for help when you need it. Seek out support.. trustworthy friends; therapists; ministers; or family members. And then get back to it! You have the most important job on the planet! You got this!
Avoiding confrontation and avoiding holding an opinion in the interest of ‘keeping peace’ could be considered neglect. Be strong in your beliefs. Speak your truth with care.
Matthew 5:37 But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’
Being ‘nice’ and avoiding confrontation may look ‘loving’ but it’s a cop out. It doesn’t serve anyone. Simply say, “I don’t accept that” or “I no longer allow that in my world.” “I deserve to feel good so I no longer accept being treated that way.” …
Hard boundaries convey clear communication as to what is acceptable to you if someone wants to be in relationship with you. You got this.
There’s no great reward to allow someone to destroy your life. It’s not noble of you to allow the toxic relationship to continue. It’s low self-esteem that allows it to continue. Sometimes the best thing you can do for someone is to walk away and let them figure out their life…
Honor yourself and set clear boundaries for what you will allow in your world.
You get to choose what it is that you want. Your preferences determine what is good for you. Keep seeking for what you want.
Choose the perspective that is uplifting. There is always opportunity in the challenges.
Our thinking either empowers us or weakens us. Everything we say after the words “I am” becomes so. Likewise, every thought we think can contract us (judgment) or expand us (love).
As we change ourselves, our world changes. We may become more decisive. We may become more careful of who or what we allow into our lives. As we make new choices, the world around us— the scenery– changes. New opportunities appear.
Focus on what you want more of in your life. Focus on creating more of that in your life. To attract more kindness into your life, choose to express more kindness. Always, though, be aware that you deserve to be treated …
with kindness and respect, so if you are in the presence of unkindnesses, remove yourself and from your new surroundings, you can begin again.
We are in charge of our minds. It’s not always obvious, but it’s true. We can choose how we look at a situation. If we adopt the opinion that the Universe is conspiring in our favor, we will see opportunities rather than roadblocks.
Your mind in an ‘untrained state’ will flit from judgments to fear to random thoughts. Some of the thoughts may be productive and some just thoughts that lower your vibration. Once you start getting grounded in gratitude you will see
the difference it makes in accelerating you toward your visions and dreams. Start today. When a kind gesture comes your way express appreciation and gratitude. If someone seems further along than you, acknowledge with love in your heart that that is a sign that your good is coming too; not in a competitive sense but in the sense that good abounds!
Forgiveness is a process and a choice we make to set ourselves free. Holding a grievance is like taking poison and hoping the other person dies. The one holding the grievance is the one …
who suffers. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you agree with the ‘offender.’ It simply means you choose to release the mental grip you have on them. You can forgive and choose not to be around the ‘offender.’ Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself.
Question the limits you have set for yourself. You are an infinite being having a human experience. Challenge yourself to envision what has not yet become.
What do you see in your mind’s eye?
The Wright Brothers saw airplanes.
Thomas Edison saw a world illuminated without oil lamps.
Howard Shultz saw a different kind of coffee shop.
All had to stay the course until they figured it out!
None of it was a failure…it was all feedback.
Everything they did gave them feedback for the next step!
Having a support structure around you that is aligned with your vision, makes a huge difference.
Call it a mastermind…
Call it a team.
Call it partners in believing.
What matters is that the voices in your ears are speaking of what’s possible. Are affirming the power within you.
Are like the wind at your back.
Be willing to begin anew. You can create the next chapter of your life in any area of your life; it only takes a little willingness and action steps… one at a time.
John Lewis credited this as an African Proverb
Eric Butterworth credited the Quakers🤷♀️
Regardless of who originated the thought…
what does make sense is that we must move our energy in the direction of our goals, dreams and visions. That gives a direct message to God (the Universe/ Divine Intelligence/ Spirit ) of what our commitment is— and God responds back
This can be the one of the most important awarenesses you can have. If you are around someone who drains you, why? Do your best to choose inspiring people to be around.
Choose those that are intentional about creating their life for the highest expression.
Everything in your life now is part of your comfort zone (the familiar) Everything you want that you don’t yet have is just outside of your comfort zone.
This is where courage comes into play. To get past your comfort zone, you have to be who you are not ‘comfortable’ being… yet!
Ignore the naysayers in your life. Stay true to your soul’s yearning… If there is good in your vision for you and others, stay the course.
Discomfort may be present when having difficult but important conversations to keep the relationship healthy.
If we don’t have the important conversations we may resent the other person for what they are doing or not doing.
There is a choice in every interaction to either respond or not to respond.
If we react, without much forethought, it may be like pouring gasoline on a fire. Things can get a lot worse.
It’s important to stay focused on the outcome we want. And if peace is our aim, we need to proceed with forethought and compassion .
What grievances have you been carrying? What are you gaining by carrying them? As soon as you let them go, you will be free. Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself.
What can you create today to bring joy to your life? What if you lived that everyday?.
Be willing to begin anew. You can create the next chapter of your life in any area of your life; it only takes a little willingness and action steps… one at a time.
The opportunities, the resources, the conversations you draw to yourself in fulfillment of your dream might look more like a dish of spaghetti if you drew a line to connect them.
That’s what makes dreams so fulfilling. It’s the intrigue & the wonder that keeps us engaged.
Don’t worry about having the fanciest car, house, clothes, etc. Stay focused on the work, the project, the business that lights you up.
The nice stuff will show up when it’s time.
What matters is that you are listening to your soul’s stirring.
That is NOT a typo! How is your contentment silencing your life force? Your creativity?
What could you do NOW that would light up your life?
I say, begin wherever you are and do something that moves you forward. Find a mentor that inspires you. Surround yourself with those who inspire you. I’ve heard it said, if you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room.
Or as my mother used to say, “necessity is the mother of invention”… I never knew she was quoting Plato! And with all due respect to Mom, I don’t think she knew it was from Plato either. She wasn’t a student of philosophy, or
an avid reader and the internet was not around yet.
We do know that people seek pleasure and avoid pain however possible. Let your discontent stir you into action to create something wonderful and new in your life.
And we know scripture also says, “With God all things are possible.”
It’s important to focus on the desires of our heart. Hold the vision of what we want to
realize (i.e., make real) Hold to that vision. The key is to maintain that vision. Surround yourself with like minded people.That is often the challenge.
John Lewis credited this as an African Proverb
Eric Butterworth credited the Quakers🤷♀️
Regardless of who originated the thought, what does make sense is that we must move our energy in the direction of our goals, dreams and visions. That gives a direct message to God (the Universe/ Divine Intelligence/ Spirit ) of what our commitment is— and God responds back.
This can be the one of the most important awareness you can have. If you are around someone who drains you, why? Do your best to choose inspiring people to be around. Choose those that are intentional about creating their life for the highest expression.
Everything in your life now is part of your comfort zone (the familiar) Everything you want that you don’t yet have is just outside of your comfort zone. This is where courage comes into play. To get past your comfort zone, you have to be who you are not ‘comfortable’ being… yet!
Ignore the naysayers in your life.
Stay true to your soul’s yearning…
If there is good in your vision for you and others, stay the course.
Ignore the naysayers in your life.
Stay true to your soul’s yearning…
If there is good in your vision for you and others, stay the course.
There is a choice in every interaction to either respond or not to respond.If we react, without much forethought, it may be like pouring gasoline on a fire. Things can get a lot worse.
It’s important to stay focused on the outcome we want. And if peace is our aim, we need to proceed with forethought and compassion .
It’s important to stay focused on the outcome we want. And if peace is our aim, we need to proceed with forethought and compassion .
What can you create today to bring joy to your life? What if you lived that everyday?
You are an amazing, creative human being. The Universe is ever expanding and so is our life…
force. Let new creative ideas flow through you and be expressed by you.
You are an amazing, creative human being. The Universe is ever expanding and so is our life force. Let new creative ideas flow through you and be expressed by you.
The opportunities, the resources, the conversations you draw to yourself in fulfillment of your dream might look more like a dish of spaghetti if you drew a line to connect
them. That’s what makes dreams so fulfilling. It’s the intrigue & the wonder that keeps us engaged.
Don’t worry about having the fanciest car, house, clothes, etc. Stay focused on the work, the project, the business that lights you up.
The nice stuff will show up when it’s time.
What matters is that you are listening to your soul’s stirring.
That is NOT a typo! How is your contentment silencing your life force? Your creativity?
What could you do NOW that would light up your life?
I say, begin wherever you are and do something that moves you forward. Find a mentor that inspires you. Surround yourself with those who inspire you. I’ve heard it said, if you’re the …
smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room.
And we know scripture also says, “With God all things are possible.” It’s important to focus on the desires of our heart. Hold the vision of what we want to
realize (i.e., make real) Hold to that vision. The key is to maintain that vision. Surround yourself with like minded people.That is often the challenge.
So focusing on our goals, dreams & visions and taking action in the direction that moves us toward them in private, yields results that others eventually see in public.
In one act the deed and the forgiveness… instantaneous!
In the human world, it is being in a steady state of compassion for our fellow humans.
Keeping an open heart that is compassionate and understanding… all the while being sure to act appropriately to care for one’s self. It does not mean being a doormat. But rather, we can choose to forgive and ‘love from afar’.
Uncertainty goes with risk. And risk is just outside your comfort zone. And that’s where your dreams lie. To achieve our dreams, we have to get a little uncomfortable.
Where attention goes, energy flows. When we focus on what we are grateful for in our life, we find more things that we are grateful for. That is abundance! And as Abraham-Hicks has said, “The better it gets, the better it gets!”
Positize is a word I made up that you’ll find in my book, How to Get and Stay Happy! It means “positive fantasizing” Instead of focusing on the negative, fantasize about how good something can be.
Positize! Imagine your dream has all worked out! See it in your mind’s eye! Really dial into it!
These 4 steps keep you in a state of ‘flow’.
Living in a state of gratitude keeps you uplifted because the more you look for things to be grateful for, the more you will notice and the
realize (i.e., make real) Hold to that vision. The key is to maintain that vision. Surround yourself with like minded people.That is often the challenge.
Mark Twain had such a wonderful way with words! Real ‘economy of words’.
What more can I say?!
That’s right! Creative! What we focus on expands, therefore the more often we declare what we’re grateful for, the more things will show up in our world to be grateful for.
And gratitude has been shown to actually increase the ‘happy hormone’ (serotonin) in our brains.
“In short, gratitude can boost neurotransmitter serotonin and activate the brain stem to produce dopamine.” Dopamine is our brain’s pleasure chemical. The more we think positive, grateful thoughts, the healthier and happier we feel.”
https://www.brainbalancecenters.com/blog/gratitude-and-the-brain-what-is-happening
https://chopra.com/articles/the-neuroscience-behind-gratitude-how-does-cultivating-appreciation-affect-your-brain
No matter your age, dream! What do you dream of doing? Being? Having? What has kept you from achieving those dreams? Hold to your dreams.
Our powers of visualization are gifts we can use to bring our dreams to life.
Children easily use their powers of visualization to be, do or have anything they want in their imaginal world. We can do the same with the added “adult-ability” to act and bring our dreams to life.
Falling down is feedback. As a baby, with every step we attempted to take while learning to walk, when we fell, our little genius minds processed what happened. After multiple attempts we got ‘balance’. And in a short time we were walking & then soon running.
Same with learning to ride a bike. A few scraped knees, maybe a bruised elbow and ego, but suddenly we got balance!
Failure is how we learn! We fall down, we process, we get back up & make incremental improvements until we succeed at the ‘thing’.
The more we align with universal truth, the easier it is to hear the voice for God (The Source) and to bring out gifts to the world.How do we do this? Some ways we practice: being still; forgiveness; generosity; kindness; non-judgment; going within & asking for guidance;
listening for guidance; releasing what no longer serves us.
Our powers of visualization are gifts we can use to bring our dreams to life.
Children easily use their powers of visualization to be, do or have anything they want in their imaginal world. We can do the same with the added “adult-ability” to act and bring our dreams to life.
Falling down is feedback. As a baby, with every step we attempted to take while learning to walk, when we fell, our little genius minds processed what happened. After multiple attempts we got ‘balance’. And in a short time we were walking & then soon running.
Same with learning to ride a bike. A few scraped knees, maybe a bruised elbow and ego, but suddenly we got balance!
Failure is how we learn! We fall down, we process, we get back up & make incremental improvements until we succeed at the ‘thing’.
The more we align with universal truth, the easier it is to hear the voice for God (The Source) and to bring out gifts to the world.How do we do this? Some ways we practice: being still; forgiveness; generosity; kindness; non-judgment; going within & asking for guidance;
listening for guidance; releasing what no longer serves us.
Hold the image in your mind of what it looks like when your dreams have come true.
Your imaging powers (powers of imagination) are powerful and call forth the results you want. Yes, you will have to do the work in between…
You will have to take action, but holding to your vision
is what makes the fullfillment welcome.
And then, suddenly things do come forth as in ‘out of the blue’.
I’ve heard it said, “you take one step toward God and God takes 10 steps toward you”
Taking action in support of your dream speeds up the manifestation of your dream.
The more often we learn new skills and become competent in them, we become more confident. We know ourselves to be ‘one who can’ … you complete the sentence.
One who can… ______________You got this!
We determine how far we can reach by our own decisions. Envision the success we seek. Keep taking action in that direction.
We need to constantly be growing. It is the way of nature. So, when you have dreams, you should do whatever you can to make them come true. As you keep taking action toward
your dreams, you change. Part of the gift of having dreams fulfilled, is who you become in the process. Your dreams express as a result of your level of awareness.
Assume the feeling of your wish fulfilled… Put yourself into your vision as though it has already happened. Feel the feelings of your dreams fulfilled.
As the author tells us, men (you can substitute ‘people’) get rich by doing things in a Certain Way. It’s a book well worth reading and studying.Focus only on what you wish to create.
What you focus on expands. If you focus on limitation, you will attract and experience more limitation. If you focus on gratitude, you will attract more things to be grateful for. You get to decide how you want to use your mind.
Hold a thought of what you want in your mind… that’s imagination (the process of imaging!)
Keep faith that it will come about.
Repeat!“Pray without ceasing!”….“Rejoice
always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-17).
Thinking beyond the pain raises our vibration. See your vision as though it has already worked out.
If I can have one tip that is the most potent mindset hack of all, it is this: Practice gratitude! Practicing gratitude raises your vibration! And since what we focus on expands, the more often we look for things to be grateful for, the
more things will show up FOR us to be grateful for! It’s an acceleration of good!
Working alone has some advantages but as in all things, balance is important! So surround yourself with others who have your back and can offer helpful ideas & support.
As told by John Maxwell on youtube: Leadership- When It Matters Most: Focus If you chase two rabbits, you won’t catch any. So we have to make choices.
Intention is a powerful way to effect change. We are always connected to the Quantum
Field/Infinite Intelligence/the Universe/God/Source Energy. Sometimes we are aware of this and sometimes we forget. When we focus on an intention, we inform God (you may substitute the synonym that works for you)… of that which we want to call into our awareness; our reality. This prayer practice is powerful.
As A Course in Miracles tells us: “There is no order of difficulties in miracles.” AND “Time is an illusion.”
These two statements inform us of how potent each moment can be!
Choose your focus carefully and then move past your fears to take action in the direction of
your dreams… that has good in it for you & for others! “If we put before us the important things, and we have courage to do them, all of a sudden our world in front of us is just going to expand, get clearer, get better. And the world that is behind us will become less. Focus and courage are two incredible mobilizers.”- John Maxwell As told by John Maxwell on youtube: Leadership- When It Matters Most:: Focus
I’ve heard the term “experience greed”… similar to “shiny object syndrome” only the object is “experiences”.. I’ve been guilty of that. Taking …
tons of courses. Learning lots of things. I love learning! And it’s okay until it isn’t.
When there’s too many things that are being ‘focused’ on.. nothing can get done to a state of satisfaction.
I think it’s all part of the process of discovering what works. And then it’s time to reel it in. And let go of projects that aren’t productive.
It’s fun to explore. And then choose. Focus.
I’m reminded of a bible passage: “If thine eye be single thy whole body shall be full of light.”… Matthew 6:22
Taking action in the direction of our dreams, moves our lives forward. Take action. Visualize. Repeat.
Focus forward! This means focus, visualize only what you want to manifest, to have happen. Focus and believe. Surround yourself with positive influences.
We can change our limiting beliefs. It takes focus and effort, but growing past our limitations is what gives us a vibrant life! We all want a vibrant life!
Just like a baby learning to walk, with each tiny effort, their confidence in walking grows. In a similar way, we build confidence in our abilities. It is NEVER too late to build confidence by taking baby steps. You got this!
Our minds are incredibly powerful that we often don’t realize. Holding a vision and taking action in the direction of our dreams, empowers us to make our dreams welcome in our lives.
You can change your results when you hold a vision for yourself and get support!
Just like a baby learning to walk, with each tiny effort, their confidence in walking grows. In a
similar way, we build confidence in our abilities. It is NEVER too late to build confidence by taking baby steps. You got this!
What you focus on expands! Look through your life and celebrate your successes along the
way… from learning to walk… to graduating from any program you were in… to learning new things… What you focus on expands.
Gratitude practice is like brushing your ‘brain’ or your ‘mind.’ Getting the ‘gunk’ thoughts out…
of the way! Your mind can only hold one thought at a time. Fear and love cannot both occupy the mind at the same time and gratitude is an expression of love. Negative thoughts are fear-based thoughts.
Everyday we eat. If we don’t brush, decay will start.
Eventually destroying our teeth.
If we don’t practice gratitude, negative thoughts will set in eventually destroying our mindset.
Metaphysically, teeth represent decisions.
The thoughts we think are decisions too!
Interesting correlation.
Brush your teeth & Practice gratitude!
Comparing yourself to others will either leave you feeling diminished or unmotivated.
Life is about balance. You can’t always be charging ahead. Some days it’s time to smell
the 
. Or watch a sunset 
or the flicker of a candle 
.
I love the aroma of bread 
baking, the sound of the ocean 
, or rain on the roof or a view of mountains 
What’s your favorite sight, sound or smell that soothes your soul?
Grief is unavoidable in the human experience. 
We can’t stuff it or try not to feel it. Grief says “I have loved deeply.”
I have cared. 
And now I must find a way to love myself and channel my love somehow when I am ready.
I once was told “sorrow makes the heart hollow for love.”
Be patient with yourself.
Be kind to yourself.
Feel your feelings.
Breathe.
Get support.
Take action that you decide leads you toward a dream that is yours and that has good in it for yourself and others.
Your thoughts, feelings and actions are all an expression of your energetic state.How do we curate the energy we are emitting? By…
choosing deliberately! Choose your thoughts carefully… they affect your feelings and your results.
How many times have you given up because something felt too hard but in reality it’s because you just needed to build up muscle💪 and keep at it?
If you’ve said, “it’s not meant to be”…. add one little word—“yet” and keep going!
hint: the voice that says “quit” may be the inner voice from your childhood that says “Stay safe! Be quiet! Be invisible and you won’t get hurt!” 😢 You may have heard “argue for your limitations and you get to keep them”… so TRUE!
You get to decide… you are in charge 🏃♀️
I say: Get into a structure of support that stands for your growth and success and watch what happens!
You know what you want.Everyday, every moment you get to decide what voice you listen to in your mind:The one that says “nah, not today” or the one that says, “oh yeah, I got this” and you go and do the thing… the next step that
moves you toward your dreams… that makes a difference in your life and has good in it for others.
Some days it’s ok to say “nah” 🤧🤮🤒🛌
I get it. I just had Covid. I know some days you just have to be still till you are feeling stronger.
But not everyday.
So be honest with yourself and ask: What CAN I do today to move me toward my dreams?
Get connected with a structure of support.
There is no limit on beginning again. As long as you are breathing, you can begin again.
What is in your heart for your future?
So true. And as Einstein said, (and I paraphrase) “the solution can’t be found on the level of thinking that created the problem. We have to rise to a different level of consciousness.”
Babies don’t immediately learn to walk at their first try.
No one learns to ride a bike without first falling a few times.
Olympic athletes spend years full of long days of practice before becoming great.
Anything worth achieving takes years of effort.
Keep. Going.
Babies don’t immediately learn to walk at their first try.No one learns to ride a bike without first falling a few times. Olympic athletes spend years full of long days of practice before
becoming great. Anything worth achieving takes years of effort.Keep. Going.
Is your life ‘comfortable’, but you know there’s more you want?
Is it ok to want more? (You ask yourself)
Shouldn’t I be happy with ‘good enough’?
We are on our ‘green growing edge’ … the Universe is constantly expanding through us. To try to stop growing is like trying to hold our finger in a dam, thinking it will hold back the ‘flood of ideas’
What are you longing for?
Where are you discontent?
This is the Universe/God speaking through you to grow! What is it saying to you?
Our thinking leads to our feelings which determine our actions which determine our results. It all begins with our thoughts. You are
at the helm of your mind. To achieve what you haven’t yet achieved is still doable. The time is now!
When you wake up in the morning, what’s the first thing that comes to mind? Is it fearful thoughts based on the past? Or creative thoughts based on a vision you hold?
Where attention goes, energy flows. If you are not planning to recreate the past, create a habit of visioning your future!
Routines actually make life easier. Once you set a routine that supports you, and you stay with it for 21 days or more, it becomes a habit. Once you’ve created this habit, your days are simpler. It’s as though you have the wind
at your back as you go about your day.
There’s a certain type of peace that comes to those who meditate regularly. I chuckle 
to myself as I think it reminds me of middle school when someone found the answer key to the upcoming test. It’s that kind of “oh I got this” feeling. 
(the difference is meditation 
is legit! 
and much more powerful!)
Whenever someone says something to you that upsets you, remember it’s more about who they are than it is about you. Give yourself a chance to feel your feelings but then pull yourself out of that.
What has helped me is realizing that it really isn’t about me: The discomfort I feel is the discord between my mindset and the other person’s. We each have our own mindset and we naturally seek others whose mindset is a good match or a good complement to ours. When we don’t have that match, we’re uncomfortable.So allow your feelings but then realize it’s just a different mindset. Of course look within to reflect on what your part was in the communication and make any amends that would be appropriate, but don’t carry the drama into your day. Forgive all involved (including yourself!)
Just be 
and see it all as part of a lesson in this journey called life.
Our words create our world. Everything we say has the power to bring us closer to our dreams & visions (or push them away!); to bring more love into our lives (or push it away!). So choose your thoughts with care. Deliberately think & speak positive words.
Routines actually makNotice WHEN you are making an assumption (we humans do it ALL the time!), and explore it. Ask questions. Be genuinely curious so you don’t put your own interpretation on things. If you feel a twinge of anger when something occurs, breathe, then
seek clarification by asking gentle open questions. It’s ok to say how you’re interpreting what just occurred, and check in with the other person to see if that’s what they meant.e life easier. Once you set a routine that supports you, and you stay with it for 21 days or more, it becomes a habit. Once you’ve created this habit, your days are simpler. It’s as though you have the wind at your back as you go about your day.
We all have choices to make every moment of everyday. What to eat, where to go, what to think, what to say, what to do… Start with your dreams that are worthy of your time. Remembering the line from the movie Pretty
Woman…What’s your dream? Everybody’s gotta have a dream!”
Surround yourself with those who support your dreams. put a 
in the comments if you’ve got a dream (or if you know it’s YOUR time & you’re ready to dream!)
NOW is the time to make your dreams come true. It’s never too soon to begin. And we never know how much time 
we have left
.It’s all about knowing the little but powerful NUANCES that can give us a quantum leap 
toward our dreams
Our words are powerful. When we make a decision, new ideas come to mind to fulfill that decision. Our Infinite nature provides ideas that when acted upon move us forward
towards our dreams. New ideas are always available as we need them! Ask good questions to get good ideas. Hence, when we use these ideas, we are UNSTOPPABLE!
[Save this]—> If you’re like me and you’re wondering what wonderful dreams you’re going to make happen next, use these 5 Pillars to guide you. The journey to achieving your
dreams that seem ‘bigger’ than before is often simpler than you realize… it just requires that you take a moment, refocus and begin!
PS We all have Divine DNA 
Kindness is a vibration. Love is a vibration. It can be felt. While it may use words and gestures, it can also simply be felt. Sensitive people can walk into a room and simply feel the vibration and know the vibration.
No matter what circumstances are in front of you, your vision and your action steps are key to your success.
Be kind to yourself. Live as though every day is a statement of your life’s work. If today were
the message of your life’s work, would it convey the message you want to give the world?
Who can you be kind to today? What project can you begin? Or end? What step can you take toward your vision?
We have to honor our vision for our lives. Other peoples’ boundaries or lack of them will impact
our lives if we don’t set our own boundaries. Self love is the place to begin. Honoring ourselves is key.
When we look through the eyes of love 
, we do ourselves and the world a great favor. When we look through the eyes of love, judgment dissipates. Forgiveness doesn’t even need to
happen, because we chose not to judge in the first place. This goes for both looking at yourself as well as others with love. You will feel so peaceful
. Compassion and love heals. This doesn’t mean we condone wrongful acts; we just choose to hold a higher vision. We still can take appropriate right actions as necessary, but we preserve our inner peace while doing so.
When something happens that disappoints you,
give it some time. You may get to see how
good things turn out.
Indeed, it is only with love and compassion that humanity can work together. Everything depends on relationships. People showing up,
Keeping commitments, keeping their word, apologizing when they need to change an agreement. Using a calendar to keep track of their commitments. Considering how we show up for others. Using “I” statements instead of “you” statements.
If you don’t like the way you feel when you are around a friend or family member, take some space and explore healthy ways of
communicating. You have to be your own best friend, so declare what works for you and what doesn’t.
When you begin to engage with others, notice the energy you are bringing forth. Are you bringing kindness or is a part of you ready with
a harsh comment (just in case you ‘need’ it
) Is sarcasm in your social toolbox? Be willing to genuinely look at your approach to social engagement. You have the ability to make a difference in the world in your everyday conversations
Practicing stillness is the beginning. Notice your thoughts. Notice your feelings. Stick with “I” statements when communicating. “I feel ___ when you___” vs blaming —like “You always do
___” or “You did ___” Make requests instead “ Can you please ____?” Relationships are like tending a garden.
Be a listening ear—it helps build understanding.
Be open to another way of looking at something.
Detach from ‘control’ but be a good role model.
We can always ask our Higher Power – Infinite Intelligence – God – Universe- Holy Spirit- How to look at something differently.
We are all growing and learning. We are all at our own frontier. At our frontier though, we must choose new thoughts, ask new questions
to keep growing to receive the dreams we hold dear.
We can only change how we look at things. But the cool fact is that when we change how we look at things, the things we look at change.
Are you open to new ideas? New ways of being? No one said it would be easy. Letting go of parts of what we think of as ‘ourself’ our
ways of being can be frightening. But like the blade of grass that pushes through the crack in the cement, our burning desires must push past our fears for us to fulfill our dreams.
Consider that it’s safe to step back and let God lead.You can hold a vision or dream but ask trusting for “this or something better”
Whatever is meaningful for you, whether it’s raising a family, building a business, gardening, teaching compassion, finding a cure for
something, radiating goodness wherever you go, or something else— having a purpose is key to living well. Know that your life makes a difference!
I once heard “If a blind person steps on your toe does it hurt?” Of course it does. It heals more quickly though when we don’t take it
personally and constantly replay it in our mind and constantly retell it. It’s ok to retell it initially because we need to ‘vent’ with other humans. But don’t set up camp there.
If you are wanting a healthier body, remove things from your pantry that you know aren’t good for you. Create a space in your home and
your schedule where you know that’s your workout space. If you watch TV choose uplifting shows and movies. If you have negative people in your life, minimize or eliminate time with them. Your life matters! Control your environment as best you can!
Life will ALWAYS be in process! It will NEVER look perfect! We have to “Do it AFRAID!”
Trust yourself to learn as you go. Breathe. Smile. Pat yourself on the back as you are growing and learning. Fear is ok. Just keep
going in the direction of your dreams. Put a 
in the comments because you deserve applause!
When we are upset about something it is because we can’t see the whole picture. Suspend judgment. Breathe. Wait to see the good reveal itself.
That’s when your personal frontier awaits your new ideas. That’s when you can be still, go within and ask important questions of the
Universe–the infinite intelligence– that breathes you.
You may have heard ‘your future depends on the company you keep.’ Don’t confuse forgiveness with allowing negativity in your
life. Forgiveness is about observing and removing yourself from negative influences. It’s about limiting their access to you.
Cut back. Go on a NEGATIVITY diet. Fill the new space with more POSITIVE actions.
Begin. That’s right! Get going! It’ll be messy at first. But you’ll get better and better. Tell those silly thoughts to “hush up!!” Just get going and KEEP GOING!
Your life matters. What would you love to experience in your life? More health and well-being? Better relationships? A career you love? More time and money freedom?
The best way to get clear is to write down what we want and to edit it until it reads with the clarity of a blueprint or a good recipe. Be exact but at the end say “This or something even better!”
Regardless of the conditions surrounding you, you get to choose your mindset. It takes practice
Life is a learning process. We all make mistakes along the way. Sometimes we correct ourselves right away, sometimes it takes more than one
mistake to learn a lesson… But there’s always an opportunity to make new choices no matter the circumstances. Each moment is a new moment to choose a new thought that can lead to new results! When you do that, you light the way for others!
We can be so oblivious to the very thoughts we think about ourselves. Notice how you’re
feeling. If you don’t like how you’re feeling, change your thoughts to something positive about yourself. You got this!
Sticking your neck out means stretching forward. Getting out of your comfort zone. Put a in the comments if you agree!
What is your burning desire?
mistake to learn a lesson… But there’s always an opportunity to make new choices no matter the circumstances. Each moment is a new moment to choose a new thought that can lead to new results! When you do that, you light the way for others!
Anything is possible! Think of the Wright Bros. Of Thomas Edison.. they held to their dreams and eventually achieved them! Persevere!
The first perspective will dim the light of your imagination. The latter perspective will bring you joy!
Commit to your dreams. Don’t hold back. Is it something that brings love to you or others? Does it make the world better in some way? If so, then commit to them.
Believe in yourself! Take action toward your dreams. You will grow stronger as you do so!
Are you living by default? Allowing life to just flow from your past? or are you envisioning a life that is unlike your past? Support is available to create a life you love!
Making a request of someone is always an option. One never knows what the outcome will be.
A comfort zone is not the place to hangout. There’s no growth there. Everything you want and do not yet have is outside your comfort zone! Surrounding your comfort zone is an imaginary barrier of fear. You have to transcend some fear to go beyond your comfort zone.
I would add, the more you stay focused acting toward a given dream, the greater the chance of it coming to fruition.
When you hold kindness in your heart and hold to the awareness that you are connected to Infinite Intelligence— whether you call it God,
The Universe, Holy Spirit— your vibration is one of beauty.
To decide means to cut away. A decision means you have a singular focus at the moment and focus is very powerful.
This is what sets your heart on fire! Doing something everyday to move toward your dreams!
Focus, like a laser, is powerful. Choosing what to focus on is instrumental. If you are focusing on too many things, little progress can be
made. Ask yourself, what can I let go of, delegate or focus on?
Having a flexible mindset regardless of circumstances helps us navigate through life. Happiness is a choice.
You are connected to infinite intelligence (whether you believe it or not) In every challenge you can use this connection to move you forward.
So true! Discipline is something we can work at to create a life we love. It is much easier to get
and stay disciplined if we seek out & surround ourselves with other disciplined, focused people.
Look for the good in your life. It is there. Focus on the good in your life. Smile. Cultivating an attitude of gratitude is key to a joyful life.
Persistence is what formed the Grand Canyon, one of the many wonders of the world. The
constant action of a river over time, formed the vast canyon. Hold to your dreams.
Know that whatever you do impacts the world. A kindness, a comfort, a forgiveness can and will change the future. Consider your impact
with each thought, each act. The person that receives your kind act will most likely pass a kindness onto another.
What is your burning desire? What can you do today to bring it into being? Believe that anything is possible.
So true! Appreciation, like gratitude, can transform your mindset. When we appreciate
something, we bring it into our heartspace– the smile on the face of a child, a flower, a gentle rain. Each becomes part of us by the image in our mind.
The good news is that we can cultivate our minds. We can choose the thoughts we want.
We can rise above negativity; remove ourselves from it as best we can.
We are masters of our destiny. Focus on that which is good. Our focus will impact our destination.
Gratitude has stood the test of time. It has even been shown to change our brain chemistry. What we focus on expands. If we
focus on lack, we will find more lack. If we focus with gratitude on what we have, more good will appear in our lives.
Your mind is very powerful. And it is connected to the Infinite. So focus your attention consciously. Anything is possible.
As you move in the direction of your dreams and take action in that direction, you will see how the Infinite responds.
It is in stillness that we are refreshed, and new ideas can dawn. Cultivate a habit of stillness
You get to decide. Will you focus on your fears? OR Will you focus on what you want and by
having faith, bring it into your life. Successful people know the power of focus. Stay the course. FOCUS.
What you focus on expands! So focus on what you want, but see it already done. Do not focus
on the difficulties, focus on the outcome as though it has already worked out. Support is key!
So when you notice that twinge of jealousy in your gut, ask yourself, “what can I do to move past my fears and achieve my dreams?”
The more keen our focus and the richer our imagination, the easier our dreams are realized! So get clear on what you want. And think big!
The learning comes during the process of trial and error. As children, if we waited til we could walk to actually learn to walk, how ridiculous
would that be?! We would never learn to walk! We learned by attempting a step, then losing our balance, falling and then trying again. The same goes for anything new. Take massive imperfect action and you’re on your way!
If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep getting what you’ve always gotten.
Gratitude actually changes the chemistry of the brain. “When we express gratitude, our brain releases dopamine and serotonin— two
hormones that make us feel lighter and happier”.
Sometimes love looks like hard work, increased patience, breathwork, forgiveness, apologies, making a request, making the phone call,
stepping away. Toughlove is a form of love too. The easiest forms are things like giving hugs, kisses, flowers & other gifts.
PART I of 5
I’ve come across a common theme…
It seems like most people I talk with say
there’s so much going on that they feel overwhelmed.
(Been there, done that!)
It’s not uncommon for people to be trying to
do so much–
And prioritizing our lives can require a bit
Of trickery!
What should come first?
A work project?
A family event?
Take the dog to the vet?
Make that dentist appointment?
Delete some emails…
The list is endless…
It can seem impossible to tend to
each priority.
I have a ‘hack’ I can share with you that I learned a long time ago
when I was raising my three sons as a young widow,
trying to figure out how to meet their needs,
get them to all their activities,
and still get other things done too!
First of all,
I want you to know that overwhelm is a choice.
That’s right!
(that might not be what you wanted to hear,
but it’s true!)
And
The good news is once you know it’s choice,
that means you get to choose something else!
Overwhelm is just another form of Fear!
Fear that someone is judging your performance–
Fear that someone wants it ALL done now–
The truth is, YOUR opinion is the one that matters.
YOU get to decide what is MOST important to YOU!
That’s right.
Overwhelm has to do with thinking of all the things you want to do–
AND thinking they’re ALL important,
AND thinking they all need to be done NOW.
So, what’s my ‘hack’ for dealing with this?
1) It starts with first, noticing your thoughts and feelings. You notice you’re feeling overwhelmed.
2) Do some slow deep breathing…Breathe in through the nose and out through the mouth like you’re blowing through a straw… Do that a few times until you feel calmer… The breathing helps to reset the nervous system from ‘fight, flight or freeze’ to ‘rest, digest and create’ mode.
3) Be still. Sit quietly with your eyes closed if possible.
4) Ask yourself “What should I do now?” An answer will come. Sit until you get a sense of what to do next. You will know what is the most important thing to do next.
.
Then begin to act on the answer.
If you get stuck, repeat the process, (email me at alex@avhcoaching.com !)
One thing that has always been like a lifeline to me
over the years, is having some structure of support– someone– a coach I could count on to help me get unstuck when challenges crossed my path.
PART 2 of 5
Yesterday I shared my ‘hack’ for dealing with overwhelm.
Today I want to share another tip
that is something you can make as important and frequent as brushing your teeth.
And that is something I call ‘extreme self-care’.
Extreme self-care is so important.
We often get so busy with our responsibilities that
Self-care is often diminished to brushing our teeth, showering and getting to whatever our work is for the day.
But it’s so important to take time for our needs.
Soon after my husband passed away,
when my sons were young,
After they were in bed for the night,
my ‘self-care’ process, consisted of
filling the tub and soaking for literally hours.
As the water cooled down I would add more hot water.
It was so healing to do that.
In our modern culture, (at least in my up-bringing), ‘extreme self-care’
Was not really a focus.
It was more like:
Brush your teeth
Eat 3 meals a day
Get your work done
But that’s not enough.
I have built self-care into my day:
- A specific morning routine that supports my well-being
- Choosing where, how and with whom I spend my time
- Paying careful attention to the thoughts I think and how they make me feel, then correcting as needed
Is my system perfect?
No… it’s always a work in progress
But much like airplanes that correct their course throughout their flight,
The only way to get somewhere is to keep correcting along the way.
PART 3 of 5
Something that makes life more fun… Spicing it up…
As you may know, I often speak at events, and I was recently at an online Summit to inspire women to love themselves and life more!
And events need people!
Right?
Otherwise we’d be ‘talking to cyberspace!’
But in my last event, registrations were rolling in!!! YAY!
Every speaker was responsible for registrations..
I reached my initial goal,
But then I thought… why not aim for double the registrations?
After all, the purpose of an event is to provide a space where lots of people can experience inspiring ideas, transformational tools,
and fun, effective ways to grow!
So in the process of raising the bar for myself,
I made life more fun for myself! (here comes the hack!)
Why am I telling you this?
(you may be asking, right?)
Good question!
A few reasons!
Raising the bar raises the level of energy and excitement!
- It pushes ME to be more engaging!
- So I did a few Facebook Lives today with special guests! (yes, raising the bar pushes one out of their comfort zone!)
- I spoke to more people inviting them to register!
- And since you’re part of this community
the heightened energy engages you too!
–>You may be thinking…
hmmm, maybe I should join too!
Maybe my registration in Alexandra’s email list will help me LOVE LIFE MORE…
Maybe my registration will start a ripple effect, because
as I have more love in my life,
everyone around me will start noticing the difference, and they might catch what I have!!!
You do know that energy is contagious, right?
Good, high energy is good to spread around.
Low, icky energy can bring others down
(I know that’s not you though!)
So I invite you to come onboard!
Be part of this ‘wave’ of Loving Life so you can Live Well Long..
and see what you come away with!
Would you like to set up a time to talk? Click Here.
PART 4 of 5
I married my high-school sweetheart.
My family moved around a lot when I was between 8th grade and senior year.–
I went to 5 different schools in 5 years.
I was the only girl in physics class when I arrived there in junior year after our last move..
I needed a lab partner.
Allan already had a lab partner, but as he later told me, he decided a girl lab partner was better than a guy lab partner…
so he ditched his guy lab partner and raised his hand saying he needed a lab partner LOL
And that’s how we met.
A whirlwind romance began,
I was totally in love
& my parents were heartbroken
I was too young… (they thought)
We struggled to prove ourselves to them…
eventually they accepted the situation…
He was everything to me.
The heart, the rock and stability I was looking for…
We managed to combine college
with full-time jobs…
We married and eventually built a
house together and started a family…
3 little boys filled our house with
fun and chaos!
But Allan worked long hours to fulfill his dreams in Clinical Research… and as a super-provider…
while I became ‘super mom’
And our dream life started crumbling…
He had lots of long distance travel for weeks
at a time to the international study sites and
then back home worked late hours on drug
submissions for the FDA…
I would stand outside at night looking
up at the stars just asking for help…
The heartache was too much…
And then at the age of 36 he contracted cancer…
and in 5 months he was gone.
I believe stress and his work-life caused it…
So I do this work because:
- This is what works to regain our power and potential after heartache and disappointment
- This is what works when there’s lots of responsibility and we need strength and answers.
- This is what works when want to build a dream life
- This is what works.
PART 5 of 5
Life is about balance.
While it’s great to have a purpose-focused mind, we need the balance of
‘down-time’ or ‘idle-time’…
It’s when we get to unplug from
- push-energy
- tight schedules
- being ‘on’ for focused events
- serving others in any capacity
One of my favorite philosophy quotes is from none other than Dr. Seuss!
“So be sure when you step, Step with care and great tact.
And remember that life’s A Great Balancing Act.”
— from Oh, The Places You’ll Go!
In our downtime, we’re more relaxed and we get to:
- let our mind wander
- be creative
- integrate recent learning
- reflect
- meditate
- go for a walk or a run
- or any relaxing activity
What we know from studies on relaxation is that “cognitive restructuring enters”–
That is: people can more easily change their negative thinking patterns.*
On days when I meditate, my day goes smoother, creativity flows, ease and flow seem to be the theme of the day.
On days when I don’t meditate… not so great!
I am getting better at staying with the practice
I think of it like brushing my teeth… I brush my mind!
The same is true with some form of physical exercise…
I think of it as grooming our muscles!
Here’s what my ‘creative’ mind came up with
on my slow morning walk with my dog Sunday morning:
Fun Sunday Musing
This morning as I was walking my dog, I mused on how she sniffs as many blades of grass as I have the time and patience for!
— and my creative mind decided that that’s the dog version of us scrolling through social media… taking in all kinds of random information
And sometimes she stops sniffing and trots along and then stops to sniff again– that’s like when we get bored with some posts and decide to quickly scroll past them till we stop at the next one that catches our eye
And every so often she sniffs and immediately ‘marks’ a spot — I decided that’s her way of communicating with the dog that left it’s scent there recently— that’s like us sending an email or a text message to say ‘Hi!’ or commenting on a post!
I’m personally really happy with my explanation of dog behavior!
I get a chuckle from it! I think it fits!
(and inadvertently it relegates our behavior to the dog world! oops!)
All this is to say, balance your life!
Include downtime.
Include playtime.
It makes a difference and it will enhance your abilities when you’re back ‘On’ again!
You never know what will pop into your mind when you’re relaxing!
Have fun with it!